Rainfall
by Mera
Summary: Tomoyo looks for solace in the rain, but someone follows her... (ExT, unadulturated WAFF)


untitled

Disclaimer/general stuff: I don't own CCS (not even Eriol ;_;). Clamp and many other people do. The idea and words, however unoriginal they may be, are mine, though. On with the show.

Daidouji Tomoyo stood in the rain. Her head was tilted up, eyes half-shut. The drops poured down, soaking her face, hair, uniform. Out here, all was silent but for the rain's patter and the occasional crack-boom of thunder. She felt each drop hit her face, splash, and roll down her cheek. Soon, she knew, she'd have to return her world; a world of laugher and cameras and broken hearts. But that was later. For now, all that mattered was the rain, and what it brought back.

  


_Lunch, and the students are noisy. Running, laughing, eating. Wave to Rika, Chiharu, keep walking. Ah, there they are. Is this what you wanted to see, Tomoyo? Sakura—smiling, happy, nestled close to Li-kun. You dragged yourself out of the music room, where you know it's safe, to come down here? For this? So that you can say, look at how happy I am. Smile and wave back to Sakura when she looks up for a moment. 'Tomoyo-chan, come eat with us. No? Where are you going, then? I've hardly seen you the past month!'_

_And evade the question. Smile, wave again as you turn away, and keep that smile plastered to your face as you love life. It's what holds you together, you know that. Run back to your hiding place, the music room. It's always empty; that's why you like it, and why you always come back. You know you'll be by yourself, and that's the best thing for you, right? Being alone._

  


She turned, slowly, closing her eyes tighter against the rain. She saw each drop, a different life; born in the heavens and falling towards the earth with barely time to shout out its own song before splashing and flowing down into all the others. And here I stand, she thought, helping raindrops to their death. What a pleasant thought. Still… perhaps they don't mind too much. At least they have others to keep them company in their descent. They're not alone.

  


_Gathering her things, she flees the room and Sakura's question, her presence, nearly running in an effort to get away. Only when she reaches the door and is out of that room does she break into a full run, ever-present smile still glued into place, nodding hello, how are you? Fine thank you, and you? when someone she knows passes by in a blur. Eventually she comes to the end of a hall and sags against the wall, exhausted. After resting there a few moments, catching her breath in gulps of air, Tomoyo notices where she is. Not the music wing, but the hallway beside a door going outside. Curious, she peers through the window. Rain is pouring down from the sky in great sheets, pounding at the concrete schoolyard and muddy mess of the once-upon-a-time lawn. Ah, that's right, it's why everyone's eating inside today. Too much rain._

_A sudden vision of Sakura, seated beneath a tree whose green leaves make her eyes sparkle even brighter as sunlight dapples her face and she lunges for the paper Li-kun holds just out of reach floats across her mind, and, desperate to escape—her, them, her own thoughts—Tomoyo pushes the door open and steps out._

  


Hiiragizawa Eriol was leaning against the window pane beside a door leading to the soaked schoolyard, staring pensively at the rain. It was days like this that reminded him that, despite his magic and the half of an ancient soul residing within him, he was still a boy. And made him long to be only that, only a boy. He was set apart, whether he wanted it or not, and that could get… lonely.

  


_A young boy stares solemn-faced, eyes large within his glasses, at the rain pouring down on the small garden visible through his window—a slightly older boy stares again at the rain falling down on the larger, elegant gardens surrounding Reed Manor—the boy, appearing the same but again older still, watching rain fall on the small Japanese town where he'd come to find the one who would put his half-of-a-soul at rest… and the funny thing is, no matter when you look at the boy, he's always alone._

  


He knew he should return to where the others were eating lunch, eat his own, be happy with them. But these days even the serenity that Sakura brought with her wasn't enough to calm him. Staring down at the tiled floor without really seeing it, he realized that in its way only underlined what was troubling him. Sakura and the others had found their happiness; his mission was fulfilled, but he was not happy. Instead, he was more alone than he'd ever been.

Eriol's attention turned back to the rain outside, and he noticed something he hadn't seen before. Squinting to counter the slightly foggy glass of the window, he saw that it was a person, standing in the rain and turning slowly. 

  


Tomoyo turned again, and again, still slowly, but fast enough to let the motion carry her around and into the next circle before she had time to think. Thinking was getting her nowhere. To spin, that was the only thing now. It didn't matter that she was getting wet, that the rain was soaking through her hair and uniform. She'd probably catch cold tomorrow, and then she'd regret it, but for now, that didn't make a difference. All that mattered was spinning. And the rain. Turning in the rain, around and around, so that she wouldn't think. And not thinking, would not love. And not loving, would not fall and be alone again. And again, and again, and again.

  


His interest caught, and having nothing else at hand to take him away from his thoughts, Eriol pushed open the door. Its weight against his felt good, solid. Something else there; something verifiable, real, but not comforting. A cold lump of wood and metal couldn't manage that. His attention returned to the figure standing in the rain, which he could now feel starting to soak him, too. Now he could see… her? Yes. The figure was—his eyes widened ever so slightly—Tomoyo. He took a step away from the shelter of the school's wall, seeing more clearly. She didn't seem to notice him, spinning around and around, faster now, as if nothing else mattered to her in the world.

  


_They meet for the first time: strangers, polite and distant. Both smiling as if they never had a care in the world. Neither one quite fooled by the other's mask, but willing to accept it for the time. After all, there are other things to worry about in this world, they both have worries enough of their own without taking on someone else's. No one else need enter their private minds._

  


Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone else come out of the school, stand in the rain. She was suddenly upset. Someone else invading her place, her rain? But—she smiled, bitterly, through the rain—it didn't really matter. She was alone, no matter who it was, right? No one back there would understand why she spun in the rain. To her dismay, Tomoyo could feel tears beginning to well up inside her. No point hiding, she thought, and let them fall. She turned to face the newcomer.

  


_They still see each other from time to time, remain acquaintances. Neither brings in anything deeper. They have their own burdens to bear—Eriol his powers, the half-soul that resides within him, Tomoyo, her impossible love—and will bear them, alone to the end, if they have their own way. But from each other's company the derive some calm, something beyond that which is explainable by the circumstances._

  


Stare, that was all he could do. Stare at her, who had always seemed so happy, always there, always silently smiling as she watched life go by. Sakura's happiness is my happiness. Her words rang in his ears, and what he'd known in the back of his mind for months suddenly hit him in its full impact. Of course. He shouldn't have expected anyone else to be standing, spinning, in the rain. His heart went out to her, who was, in a way, much like him. Both alone.

  


_Each time they meet they skirt around each other with their words, delicate, placing each exactly where it needs to be. Fine, thank you. And how are you? Lovely weather, isn't it? Myself, I've always liked the rain. Oh, really? So have I. It's calming, don't you think? Yes, all those drops, each one individual, not touching the others, but never alone._

_Distant, but never alone._

  


She stared at him, looking him full in the face. His eyes were obscured by clouded glasses, his hair starting to drip. Not exactly the most confidence-inspiring sight, she thought, certainly not his usual poised and polite self. He looks as bad as I feel, she notes, with a hint of surprise. Surely…

Without warning, without speaking a word, he lifted his hand and removed his glasses. She could still only stare at him as his face was wetted by the rain, for his eyes… they were already wet.

And he still watched her, seeing the tears running down her face, mingling with the rain. Echoing and repeating his own.

  


_Silent, they reach out towards each other, pale hands meeting, having to hold on that much tighter for the rain that makes them slick and hard to grasp. Then, hands firmly interlocked, then spin—slowly at first but with ever increasing speed, spinning around and around and around, as if the rest of the world doesn't exist. As if nothing else matters but them: him, her, the rain that engulfs them both._

_And nothing else does matter, they know. Because they are now whole, not alone anymore, but together. It's tenuous, they agree, one slip in any direction and the whole balance will be thrown. For now, however, it's enough. Sheltered, safe in the other's presence—_

_Not alone._

  
  
  


Notes:

*breathes a huge sigh of relief* Well, that's done. The idea came suddenly, and kept pestering me until I wrote it. That, and Ki-chan once I told her I'd started. =P I don't really know what Tomoyo would call Rika and Chiharu, so for the sake of my poor, fried brain, I just left them as Rika and Chiharu. Eh. Same goes for the lack of consistency in what Sakura and Syaoran are called.

If you're from [my school][1], it might help to picture the lunch room as the audlob, the music room as my old hum room (229/230), and the outside place as next to my tree (what a surprise -_-;). The spinning in the rain thing came from last year's J-day, when we where doing just that. It's very theraputic, even if you don't have an Eriol to come find you. ^__^

Give me comments! Comments! ^^;

   [1]: http://www.tjhsst.edu



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